Problem Child / Hot Mess

Soooo….. I got into another fight at work today. I will probably have to go to another chat with the manager. I just can’t stand the dumbasses at my work. Kohl’s used to be such a classy place before they started hiring meth heads and possible child molesters. There’s one guy who looks like a stray dog!!!!!! And he announces when he has to go to the bathroom. How charming.

I actually went to zorinsky today with my running club friend and I need practice! I was super out of breath and kept falling behind. I blame allergies.

I actually have 2 days off this week!!!!! This means less money, but more fun and time for shenanigans! Only plans so far are getting my hair done. It’s getting out of control.

So I think that I’m getting my crazy girl sprit back. And I’m craving a margarita.

                                                                        That is all.

Im not ok..... Trust me.

So last night I went to fast five with “stalker” because “doucher” didn’t want to go. The movie was kinda lame. It was all about getting money for Paul Walkers baby. I thought that the fast five was supposed to be about cars and racing, not settling down and having babies. I was kinda disappointed. But super glad I didn’t go with “doucher” that would have been an awkward date. And his greatest fear is unplanned babies. No joke.  So I was glad we didn’t go together.

Today I have the day off. But no ideas on what to do yet. I should probably go to the gym and kill myself a bit then work on my pre- summer tan. But I will probably end up sleeping all day. I’m lazy.

The only good thing about yesterday is I got new shoes.

Right now I’m watching the movie Loser which makes me wish I was born before the 90’s so I could actually enjoy them.

Also last night I bit my tongue at dinner. Before that at lunch I spilled my water all over myself and the floor then fell out of my chair. Looks like my bad luck is still on a roll. And the situation at work is still ongoing……..

A fix wont ever get you well.....

Today I have to work a majority of the day with my friend that I’m fighting with. It should be interesting.  I’m not very excited to work at all let alone with that mess and, the mess that the customers are going to leave.

My running is going kind of bad. I went to the lake yesterday to practice and I didn’t even run or bring my dog. I just walked. But later in the day I went to the gym with my friends and had a good time. Though they only work out for a little bit. It was fun. Then they asked me if I wanted to go into the sauna with them so I went. If you want a new perspective in life go work out then, sit in the sauna for 20 minutes. I have never felt so happy to be alive when I left. My head was sweating so bad I was wiping it on my pants. And the graphic on my shirt was like 1 million degrees. But it was so worth it.

I started working on my Russian last night. The words are really hard to say because they have a lot of complex sounds in one word. AND THE WORDS DON’T SOUND LIKE THEY LOOK!!!! I learned a bunch last night but I feel like I forgot. But each new chapter reviews the last. So hopefully it works out.

I still haven’t gotten my belly button pierced. My lack of abs situation gets better every day but how do you approach a tattoo shop about this kind of thing. Just go in? like a walk-in haircut? Idk I need to decide what I’m doing soon.

And finally boy problems: my stalker has finally quit stalking me. I started to stalk him back and I think he got tired of me. J and I still miss “doucher” because I’m sick in the head. THE END.

Pitty Party

I feel like I haven’t blogged forever!!!! But I feel like this is the time.

I just got home from eating at VI with some friends from work. They made me want to beat my head against the wall. They started to drive me crazy with all their boyfriend talk. I need to find single friends who believe in more than putting all their hopes and beliefs into their boyfriends.

My summer hobbies are going slowly…… I went to 5k practice last week and it was kinda disappointing. I thought it was going to be like super murder barf time but me and janell were making people look bad. Some people there could barely walk let alone run. We were walking 4 minutes running 1. It was ridiculas.  So now janell wants to train for a 10k.  :/ I wasn’t game but now I’m convinced we need to kick it up.

I also think I will attempt to learn Russian this summer. I will probley give up the first day but oh well.

What else to say…… it may be a full moon sometime this week. Thats not good.

Summer break is already boring

So now that its summer and I’m out of school, I’m pretty bored. There’s not really anything to do. There’s nothing on TV. Though tomorrow I will be sleeping ALL day because I will be working overnight Wednesday.  Tomorrow will also be my first night of 5k practice. I have a feeling that someone is going to barf. But that’s what I need. Someone to kick my ass. Because we all know I love myself too much to push myself. Also I need to find someone to work for me or switch shifts with me Thursday because I took a shift not knowing I was working overnight the night before. I know smart.

I did go to the zoo yesterday but there were lots of little kids who didn’t understand personal space and mothers who tried to run over you with their strollers. My friend said I should have worn a hoola hoop.

I think I need to go and find a hobby or make some of the recipes I have not had time to make. Something to make me un-bored.

I seriously think they need to check the water supply for testosterone

Last night was ridiculas. If last Friday night seemed strange…. This Friday was worse. I was supposed to work at kohl’s 2-10:30 and my ex said that he was going to come in and buy a mother’s day gift for his mom. 7 no show so I thought he might come in closer to when I get off work. 10 no show; 10:30 no show. So I figured he was outside waiting for me I go outside- nothing. So I go home thinking he might be there nothing. So I call him, no answer. So I decide I’m pissed and hurt and I’m done. It seems like every time I decide to give him a chance fate tells me to think again… so he call and is like “whats wrong? Why did u call?” because u had places to be and he was like “what? I didn’t have anything tonight….uh oh” yeah bitch forgot about me.

And In the other corner. I have this friend from high school john. And I think were only friends because he’s madly in love with my neighbor. He’s been tutoring her in math and I have been trying to wingman for him. Helping him with his style, hygiene, manors. And also hanging out with her planting ideas in her mind. My own version of inception. His sounds like things should be perfect but she’s kinda a user. Long story short after she passed math she was done with him. And when he’s not into her, he’s into me.  That’s so awkward how can u be asking ur friend how to pursue someone and when that doesn’t work your like well were just going to date. I’m not anyone’s sloppy seconds. Anyways… last night he was texting me while he was D-Ding like usual. And then I get a random text about him wanting to meet singles. And I’m like umm k. the text wasnt for me but then he decides to tell me that he wants to get laid because he’s in the military and he doesn’t know what going to happen (dying) etc. understandable I guess. So then he starts asking me how are things with “doucher” and “stalker” over and over.  hi yeah we are not going to date or fuck. Just get me out of your mind.

Then my ex wants to go out for slushies so we go to sonic and its closed so we go to the gas station and get slushies and nachos and he starts complaining about guys hitting on me like the guy in our Spanish class today. Blah blah blah. Anyways we go back to my house and were just watching TV like normal and he offers to give me a backrub so I let him then he tries to hook up with me. NOT COOL. So then he stops. I fall asleep. And wake up and he’s sleeping on the floor next to the couch. And when I wake him up he can’t believe I tell him to go home. He’s like why I thought I was going to sleep here. WHY WOULD HE THINK THAT!!!!!!

So in conclusion. I think that there might be hormones in the water and guys are acting insane. This is worse than a zombie apocalypse. At least if you get bitten by a zombie you can just turn into one. And just roll with it. Or just shoot the zombie in the head. If you get bitten by a horny boy you might end up raising a zombie for the next 18 years. I’m building a fortress against men. And investing in anti-pheromone soap.

.....and no one had the common courtesy to ask if they could buy me a hot tub

So I am writing this blog because my adoring fans (one pat burkey) wanted another post.

So the other day I was watching swamp people and I saw a couple of my family members on the show. I saw my mom and my dad (troy and his deckhand) in this episode troy makes fun of his deckhand (I don’t remember her name) because she’s wearing crocks and he doesn’t think they are hunting shoes. Then she slips on the pile of gators and breaks her ankle. Classic mom and dad.

Then there were two brothers on the show that made my uncles look like the classiest country brothers around like Iowan Kennedys. These guys went hunting for rabbits because they don’t like grocery store food they like the taste of the swamp. Like snakes, rabbits, turtles etc. they also looked like they were super into hardcore rock 20 years ago and haven’t showered since.

So I thought the bug I planted in the location of the man’s meeting was broken and when I went to go check it was defiantly working….. So I think they changed the location of the man’s meeting…. Shucks I was learning so much. Now I’m in the dark. I don’t know why all the men are so crazy. They are totally not acting like themselves. Like they are all super girl crazy. Like they all used to be like all about babes, cars, their buddies, booze but now they are all about finding a girlfriend etc. I don’t get it. An older lady at my work said it’s because we’re getting to the age where guys realize they need to grow up and settle down. I think it’s because its spring and for all intensive purposes mating season. But I was using that theory for winter also…………. Maybe they just figured out that’s the only way the only way they will get regular sex and food. Intresting……………..